We've long suspected that octopuses / octopodes / whatever are so damn creepy and unsettling, they've GOT to be aliens.
After all, they're capable of slipping through the tiniest
of openings to escape, they're able to figure out a jam jar works and
they're essentially the evil genius of the deep sea.
Dr. Clifton Ragsdale, a leading researcher at the University
of Chicago, conducted the first genome sequence of the octopus and
found some pretty interesting results. For one, it is completely
different from all animals - or humans, for that matter.
"The octopus appears to be utterly different from all other
animals, even other molluscs, with its eight prehensile arms, its large
brain and its clever problem-solving abilities," explained Dr. Ragsdale.
He went on, quoting zoologist Martin Wells who first postulated that
the octopus must be alien. "In this sense, then, our paper describes the
first sequenced genome from an alien."
Humans carry 25,000 protein-coding genes whereas the octopus
has 33,000 - that's a total of 8,000 more coding genes than us. PAY
ATTENTION IN THE BACK THERE, I'M NOT REPEATING THIS.
Anyway, the sequencing conducted at the University of
Chicago also had a few other discoveries. For one, the researchers think
they've cracked how the octopus is able to think so fast and how it
registers taste through its suckers on its tentacles. Sorry if you were
eating just there.
Moreover, the octopuses' ability for its tentacles to
continue functioning - even after it's been dismembered - is being
adopted and researched for use in robotics. So when the robot apocalypse
eventually happens and we find out that dismembering them has little or
no effect, we'll have the octopus to thank. Wonderful.
Look, it's all very exciting - but here's the takeaway. The
octopus is an alien who is biding their time until they develop an evil
formula to conquer the surface.
Be. WARNED.